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婚姻破裂探究
	發(fā)起人：eging3　　回復(fù)數(shù)：1　　瀏覽數(shù)：4945　　最后更新：2022/9/28 20:55:13 by nihaota

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eging3 發(fā)表于 2017/4/14 11:02:17

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婚姻破裂探究

Why do marriages fail?

婚姻破裂探究

It’s a strange coincidence that I recently reconnected with three of my long-lost Chinese friends at almost the same time.

最近，我同時(shí)和三位失聯(lián)已久的好友聯(lián)系上了，真是太巧了。

One of them lives in Shenzhen, Guangdong Province now, because she got a divorce.

其中一人離婚了，現(xiàn)居住在廣東省深圳。

Before I could reconcile to this news about her sudden change of events, two other friends also echoed the same word, "divorce."

還沒(méi)等我接受她的生活突遭變故的事實(shí)，另外兩個(gè)朋友也傳來(lái)了同樣的消息：離婚。

My curiosity propelled me to probe deeper into the reasons behind what happened, since at one time their relationships were the epitome of soul mates.

我的好奇心驅(qū)使我進(jìn)一步去探查這背后的原因，因?yàn)?，他們的感情曾一度是靈魂伴侶的典范。

After listening to their stories, I found a common thread to their painful separations. It was the fall from expectations.

在聽(tīng)了他們的故事后，我找到了他們痛苦分手的共同點(diǎn)：那就是期望值下滑。

When they started dating, everything appeared perfect, and the relationship was beautiful.

在他們開(kāi)始約會(huì)時(shí)，每件事看起來(lái)都很完美，他們的感情很美好。

There was a deliberate attempt to "win" each other by doing whatever it takes to please the other. It was a time when they tried to show the best of themselves, and when they missed each other like crazy. Then they tied the knot. They became sure of each other, and all the excitement and suspense of the chase was over. They started showing their "real" selves.

他們?cè)敢馊プ鋈魏我患茏寣?duì)方開(kāi)心的事，希望能“贏得”對(duì)方。這個(gè)階段，他們都想表現(xiàn)出最好的自己，他們瘋狂的想念對(duì)方。然后，他們步入了婚姻的殿堂。他們覺(jué)得對(duì)方已經(jīng)是自己的，當(dāng)初追求時(shí)所有的興奮和疑慮全都不再。他們開(kāi)始展示“真實(shí)”的自己。

Impatience, rudeness, bad tempers and possessiveness came to the surface.

不耐煩、粗魯、壞脾氣和占有欲開(kāi)始浮出水面。

These unexpected and unpalatable traits erupted like landmines as time passed by.

隨著時(shí)間的推移，這些出人意料的、令人不快的特征就像地雷一樣被引爆。

It is said that familiarity breeds contempt. The downside of this familiarity resulted in taking each other for granted.

有句話叫親密生侮心。太過(guò)熟悉了反而就導(dǎo)致了一切都是理所當(dāng)然。

They stated forgetting to give each other attention and respect. Slowly when compromise and patience gave way, they took that drastic step.

他們開(kāi)始忘記關(guān)心、尊重對(duì)方。慢慢地，當(dāng)他們不再妥協(xié)，不再忍耐，婚姻就走到了懸崖邊上。

There are many lessons to learn from their unhappy endings. We all have offended our loved ones at one time or another by intruding into their personal space. Two people together are unique individuals in their own ways.

從他們的不幸結(jié)局中，我們可以吸取很多教訓(xùn)。我們都曾因?yàn)槿肭謵?ài)人的私人領(lǐng)地而讓對(duì)方不高興。兩個(gè)在一起的人是以各自獨(dú)特的方式生存的個(gè)體。

Sometimes persistent concern can be misconstrued as intrusion. So we have to be careful with our words and behaviors.

有時(shí)，持續(xù)的關(guān)心也會(huì)被誤解成干涉。所以我們得謹(jǐn)言慎行。

Some people are over-sensitive and emotional. It is not good to be insensitive to feelings of those closest to us.

有些人太過(guò)敏感、情緒化。而對(duì)親近我們的人的感覺(jué)太過(guò)遲鈍也是不好的。

We should not treat our significant other as extensions of ourselves and expect them to understand, accept and tolerate our irritable behavior.

我們不能將重要的另一半當(dāng)作是自我的延伸，期待他們能理解、接受、忍受我們急躁的行為。

It is much easier to change yourself than to expect others to change.

改變自己總比期待他人改變要容易的多。

nihaota 發(fā)表于 2022/9/28 20:55:15

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